Friday, October 16, 2009

Be Sure to Thank Your Mother

When my Mom was young, she desperately wanted to play the bagpipes. As a girl in Regina in the 1930s and 40s, there weren't a lot of options. Some of the guys in the local militia band did some teaching, and later on, the Regina Boys' Pipe Band taught students, but no one would teach girls. You could only be a piper if you were male. So, she put it off, and in later years, with family of her own, looked into lessons for her kids. In 1965, a junior pipe band was formed in Regina after having been disbanded at the end of WW2, and I was eight years old.

There was no chance I was going to go to play bagpipes, because I understood that you had to wear a skirt. The band was formed in September 1965, and it took my Mom until December to convince me to give it a try. She told me later she filled my head full of stories of great pipers, and downplayed the whole K-I-L-T thing. A few lessons in, I was hooked, and despite a few bumps over the years, it has been great.

As pipes|drums editor Andrew Berthoff stated so eloquently not that long ago, I owe a lot to piping. He was talking about himself, but it's true for me, too. I met the majority of my longest and best friends through piping. The places I have lived and travelled were most often connected to piping, and of course my wife is a piper, and my kids are all involved. My Mom's persistence, and then years of encouragement and support, played a key role in whatever enjoyment and success I've had.

In more recent years, she enjoyed our daughter's piping and our son's drumming, and was often a fixture at Burn's Suppers, ceilidhs, Highland Games and band concerts. If she could be there, she was. This interest and support extended to her grandson Alex, himself a fine piper, and long-time member of the band. He used her house to practice, and in fact he and I have both been known to sneak over to Mom's for a late-night tune when kids are in bed.

Of course, as a mother, she was equally passionate about all the things her kids did: piano, violin, Highland dancing, piping and much more...but piping, and all it brought to us both, was something we shared, along with the same birthday. Over the years, she commanded many performances: for relatives, friends, St. Andrew's parties, Burns, fundraising, school and more.

The one gig I didn't really want was the one that I'd been told about since I began piping, and the one I did recently. Mom died September 29, and as she requested, she had "Lord Lovat's Lament" in the church [Helen Fraser before marriage] and "The Flowers of the Forest" at graveside.

The past couple of weeks the regular teaching at band and private lessons has reminded me that there are lots of mothers, fathers, and others out there doing those same things for their kids. They shoulder a lot of things in the day, and show up with their kids to ignite or feed that passion for music. If you're one of the parents, thanks for all you do. If you're one of the kids, find a way to say "thanks" for the tremendous gift you've been given.